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Lottery scam idiot, Hollee-Jo Binte, actually expected lotto officials to hand over £33 million, without really checking the ticket, after claiming it had been accidentally put through the wash it emerged today.
A trip to a brewery, for staff working at Kensington & Chelsea Council, lacked significant organisation and resulted in disappointment, the Druid's Loom discovered yesterday.
The Department of Education today told teachers, "Just don't piss us off - we have the power to make your lives even more miserable."
After a raft new evidence has come to light scientists have discovered that the intellectual capacity of human beings is below that of tinea pedis; the fungus that causes Athletes Foot.
